What Have I Done : PART 1

Both the seasonal and permanent expatriates of my small fishing village are enjoying the lives and homes they are building here.  They have figured out which coping mechanisms will help them survive prolonged cut-offs of our electrical and water supply, and/or, to being ripped-off by a building contractor/corner shop owner, and/or, gossiped about by a friend.  I write it that way, using and/or, because it is very possible for these experiences to take place in a single day in your first year.  I’ve been told that by year two, things are a bit smoother.

There were myriad problems that crept into your lives back home, mostly noted as a once in a blue moon occurrence.   Let me walk you through the electrical and water issues that faced Texans in 2011.  During February 2011 there were orchestrated electrical rolling blackouts to manage the loss of 50 power generators.  During August 2011 the sun scorched state was so thirsty that previously undiscovered ghost towns were emerging like an oasis in a desert.  

Everyone’s list of irksome situations or ordeals is similar due to circumstances and location.  And everyone’s list is a bit different owing to background, cultivated resiliency skills, and prior opportunities to travel, work or live abroad.  In fact, depending on how you understand your home countries relationship to other countries, many of the expatiates in your adopted country may be from abroad, i.e., returned to the country of their birth or have lived several lifetimes in various other countries.  

Here is a generalized list of the many shared traits common to the newly landed expatriate:

• Lack of command of our new language
• Naive trust in others from our own countries
• A sense that this is not quite the same as the vacation one experienced during previous trips
• A deep desire to connect with place and community

The very things which helped you survive life in your home country are the same skills you will require to assimilate into your community.  

•  Learn the language as you will need it for the most basic of task.  A crash course in survival phrases will do wonders for a sense of command and independence.  Set a goal of learning one new word or phrase each day.  I have a friend that has been taking formal lessons while living in our new country.  This has allowed her to become an active participant in the life of her small town, sharing experiences with natives that those of us with less command of the language find envious.
•  Be alert and honor your gut response to others from your own country.  You would have done this back home.  That is a resiliency skill that brought wonderful and supportive people into your life and can do the same for you now as you move through the complexities of adapting. 
•  Taking the step required to get to where you are now were huge.  Whither you dismantled your entire life, letting go of home and possessions, or have one foot in both countries, you still will have moments of regret.  Honor those moments.  This type of move, on par with the death of a spouse, comes with stress and grief.   
•  Connect with as many people as you can.  The veterans can guide and advise you of the perils, and give you peace of mind that you will adjust.  The newly landed are more than likely having some of the same difficulties as well as joys you are experiencing.  Connecting is about information sharing.  You do not have to layout all of your dirty laundry in order to connect with your community.  Everyone, from veteran to newbie are experiencing a resurgence of identity.  It takes time to find your tribe. 

You are okay!  I promise!

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