- Melanie Batesman, Femme Tales
Let's set the mood for this post with a little shag-o-rama!
MARRIED/PARTNERED Broads Abroad, let-er-rip! Sing that Loud Sister song of love, and show the SINGLE Broads Abroad that the Hokey Pokey is still what it's all about!
Okay, SEXY SINGLE Broads Abroad! I've been holding back. NO MORE! It is ALL about the LOVE! Connection is why there are other humans on the planet. Some of you are so nervous you just tightened your chastity belt. Some of you really need a new lock on that thing because you aren't ever going to find that key. Others of you just don't know what the hell I am even talking about with all this love stuff. So, let me spell it out for you.
No matter where you are
No matter how old you are
No matter how much time you believe was wasted with former partners
No matter how many times you ignored your instincts out of loneliness and shagged the village idiot at hand
No matter how many times you have heard, "stop looking. love will find you."
LOVE IS COMING!
A few months ago, I woke up and knew with perfect certainty that love was coming. I'm not talking about that moment when you start shaving your legs again. I'm not talking about that moment when you decide to starve yourself so you get skinny, which is not HOT by the way, as grown-up women should have some muffins to grab. I'm not talking about the night you followed the directions in The Secret to manifest your lover. (Just FYI: I'd be real careful on that one. You might take for granted that your love will be smart, forget to ask for a good intellect, and come home with someone dumber than a Jim Carey character.) I'm not talking about that moment when you start to see people that make you want to shout, "Take your pants off Dawlin!" HAHAHAHA!
I'm talking about a moment so pregnant with life, so rich in feeling, and so perfectly calm, you can have no doubt the intention is well being. You won't miss that special someone. The special someone won't miss you either, so don't go hiking up your petticoat like it was being used as flag semiphor at a car race. No doubt in my mind, there will be no need for dramatics or girl magic.
Have you ever had that feeling when you meet "the" someone that the two of you are in a slow motion movie still, with a blur of action happening all around you? How about that urge to fly off the edge of a precipice expecting to be unharmed? Or that moment when you find yourself thinking about "the" someone, and mutter out loud, "Unbelievable." I hate to break it to you, but that isn't how it will happen. Just in case you didn't have a MaMere as smart as mine, just let me tell you Dawlin, that is called Gonad Love, not to be confused with Muskrat Love (WOW, was that a bad song or what!)
What is going to happen to you is totally believable. You can't mess it up. No matter what comes out of your pretty little mouth or your precious bottom, (just keepin' it real), you will be loved for exactly who you are, and exactly in the way you need to be loved. Forget the Five Lost Love Languages! Forget Eat, Pray, Love You Long Time! Forget 50 Shades of Shallow!
No fear my lovely Broads Abroad. Everything is in perfect alignment. Now, just go over to that someone, look that sucker straight in the eye, and in your sweetest Southern drawl ask, "Do you want to wrestle?"
Create the life you want!
The Broad
No matter where you are
No matter how old you are
No matter how much time you believe was wasted with former partners
No matter how many times you ignored your instincts out of loneliness and shagged the village idiot at hand
No matter how many times you have heard, "stop looking. love will find you."
LOVE IS COMING!
A few months ago, I woke up and knew with perfect certainty that love was coming. I'm not talking about that moment when you start shaving your legs again. I'm not talking about that moment when you decide to starve yourself so you get skinny, which is not HOT by the way, as grown-up women should have some muffins to grab. I'm not talking about the night you followed the directions in The Secret to manifest your lover. (Just FYI: I'd be real careful on that one. You might take for granted that your love will be smart, forget to ask for a good intellect, and come home with someone dumber than a Jim Carey character.) I'm not talking about that moment when you start to see people that make you want to shout, "Take your pants off Dawlin!" HAHAHAHA!
I'm talking about a moment so pregnant with life, so rich in feeling, and so perfectly calm, you can have no doubt the intention is well being. You won't miss that special someone. The special someone won't miss you either, so don't go hiking up your petticoat like it was being used as flag semiphor at a car race. No doubt in my mind, there will be no need for dramatics or girl magic.
Have you ever had that feeling when you meet "the" someone that the two of you are in a slow motion movie still, with a blur of action happening all around you? How about that urge to fly off the edge of a precipice expecting to be unharmed? Or that moment when you find yourself thinking about "the" someone, and mutter out loud, "Unbelievable." I hate to break it to you, but that isn't how it will happen. Just in case you didn't have a MaMere as smart as mine, just let me tell you Dawlin, that is called Gonad Love, not to be confused with Muskrat Love (WOW, was that a bad song or what!)
What is going to happen to you is totally believable. You can't mess it up. No matter what comes out of your pretty little mouth or your precious bottom, (just keepin' it real), you will be loved for exactly who you are, and exactly in the way you need to be loved. Forget the Five Lost Love Languages! Forget Eat, Pray, Love You Long Time! Forget 50 Shades of Shallow!
No fear my lovely Broads Abroad. Everything is in perfect alignment. Now, just go over to that someone, look that sucker straight in the eye, and in your sweetest Southern drawl ask, "Do you want to wrestle?"
Create the life you want!
The Broad
4 comments:
Beautiful writing, beautiful content. There's a book here.
Thanks Charles! Sweet compliment!
Love this ! You are a creative writing machine WOW keep it coming Cheer
Glad you are enjoying Sherry! Thanks Amiga!
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