In Slow Motion :: Love Is Coming

 ::  You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance. :: 

- Lavetta Sue Wegman

Two days ago as I was heading home from a dental appointment, I witnessed the slow  progression of an accident.  It wasn't that type of slow motion that takes over the scene when you are in the accident yourself.  It was a literal slowness.  As an SUV crossed the median, it drove into a delivery moto.  Accidents are always a bit surreal but this one in particular was oddly captivating because the collision occurred when the SUV was inching forward.  I suspect that if I had been on the other side of the median I would have watched the moto dive into the SUV.  Moto drivers are risk takers in these parts.

A few days later, my colleague and I are headed to an appointment with one of our clients.  We take separate cars, with me following her to our destination.  Though there was only one car length between us, it was not easy staying with her.  A black BMW jumped between us, followed by a Land Rover.  When those two vehicles switched lanes and I had clear sight of her, a Toyota pick-up truck turns in front of her from the left hand lane to cross the avenue.  She slams on her breaks to avoid the collision.  Men in small wobbly trucks are risk takers.

In the last year before moving to Mexico I experienced daily anxiety attacks whenever I had to use Loop 1, a stretch of highway that runs from south to north Austin, on the west side of town.  Though there have been some hideous accidents on the highway, I now think that my fears were more about the uncertainty of moving to Mexico than actual fear that I was going to die in a car crash.  There were many obstacles that were preventing me from moving.  Much was out of my control.  Ironically, risk takers like control.

Last night in the dark of early evening, the world took on a different shape.  Kinesthetically, I recognized that Fall had arrived.  I tried to pinpoint what was different.  Was it the air, the visual cues, or the fact that it is December?  Other than the morning and evenings being cooler, there really is very little in terms of visible environmental changes to let one know that the season has changed in Merida.  In one year, my body knows something - what Fall feels like, here, in my new home.  Our cells are risk takers.

I reached a heavy traffic spot during rush hour and wait through two red lights before moving on.  Three men, easily identified by their robes as Hare Krishnas, are passing out pamphlets at the traffic light.  When one approaches me, I tell him not to bother because I can't read Spanish.  He touches his heart and says, "Corozon."  I touch my heart and respond, "My heart to your heart."  This interaction caused me to drift, recalling that a friend in my little fishing village picked up on the sadness of our community during her meditation.   We have recently lost a dear friend in that community and our grief was accessed by this woman who was unaware of our recent loss.  Our spirits are risk takers.

As is often the case, a train of thought takes a precarious pathway.  My drive home takes me past a home for sale that I adore.  All of its' features remind me of my other home, New Orleans.  A porch runs the width of the house.  The roof is nothing but beams as all the clay French tiles are missing, hopefully being carefully stored in some secret part of the gardens.  Each time I pass this house I think of my Darling, the Boyfriend for Life that is taking his sweet time finding me.  For a few moments I am filled with that same knowing that enveloped me with peace this past Summer.  I know that love is coming, like I know that the season has changed.  And as sharp as I take the corner that leads me to my little home in the heart of a city with 900,000 people, knowing the way without searching for signs, my entire body is suddenly overtaken with love.  I know that love is coming, but more importantly, more significantly, more poignantly, I know that I am love.  This woman is a risk taker.

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