This is a 3 Part Series:
Women are all about relationship. We raise children, often care for two sets of aging parents, and tend to the emotional and medical crises in our close friendships. With those women we trust, we share our histories and make our futures. Some of us call our husbands and partners our best friend, while others are living unhappily with a petty tyrant. Those that are coupled may find themselves single, and the solo mavericks may find themselves later partnered.
Life happens. We make choices during the process. Impairment in one area of living is not a declaration about the rest of one’s character. Yet, because women are so relationship driven, we judge ourselves, and one another. When some portion of the relationship aspect of our lives fails, we blame ourselves first. This is a self-defeating paradigm that needs to shift.
- We all know, instinctively, that the other women are watching us. As one friend noted recently, “We aren’t dressing for the men; we are dressing for one another.” In an expat community that little black dress you wore the night before gets noticed fairly quickly, especially if it gets soiled. You can live in a small fishing village of 3,000 or a metropolitan area of 900,000. The size of the actual expat community is all that matters. And because that matters, we, as women, must find ways to support one another at a more intense level.
- I know, no matter where I am or what I am doing, if I am wearing white, that by the end of the day it will appear that I spent my time diving into mud puddles in a lame attempt to stop the bullets of a gangster. Ask the man next to you what I was wearing. He gets a curious smile on his face and says, “Something sexy I think.” You, my dear, could tell me exactly how much sugar and cream I added to my coffee, and the exact hour I blew spaghetti sauce through my nose.
- Stop picking your teeth. Pick one another instead - the ones that make you feel wonderful and appreciated.
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4 comments:
Too bad younger women do not understand this..can you imagine if we were 25 and know all the wisdom we have at 50+!
Valentine day is my favorite holiday. It is all about love, what could be better? It was my wedding anniversary, which resulted in my two most cherrished gems, my children.
I love this
I used to get so frustrated with Mike when he'd come home with news of having seen one friend or another. Of course I was full of questions. And of course he had no answers. He never got to the meat of things with people. He could be in close proximity to another man for a year and know nothing about him. They don't seem to have the same urge to know ~ really know ~ people. Stranger and stranger. That's the thing. With every year I advance in this life I am more and more convinced there are two two-legged species on this planet, unrelated. :-)
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