Sunday Morning Edition 2, No.3 (2013) : The Outside Reflects The Inside, Again

 The Real Lives of the Expats Living in Your Travel Guide

[Source :: Jazz In Strange Places]

Tom and Martha hadn't had the chance yet to meet the neighbor on the beach that was building this beach house, but they were sure he had some interesting stories to tell.

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Ask A Broad :: Secret Love Messages From Followers

::Every reader, if he has a strong mind, reads himself into the book, and amalgamates his thoughts with those of the author.:: 

- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

When G.W. was governor of Texas he decided to get tough on crime by approving Project Spotlight, a program implemented in the neighborhoods of our major cities with the highest level of recidivism.  I was awarded a three year contract with Travis County Corrections, providing once a week art and art therapy sessions to youth offenders,  i.e., gang members.  The young adults were great, and cherished an opportunity to tell their stories and the possibility of altering the course of the younger youth in their neighborhood.  The teens on the other hand were resistant and belligerent, as at-risk teens can be in general.  It was very difficult not to laugh out loud when the Garcia siblings showed up to the first class wearing contact lens that made their eyes resemble those of a demon, or when Cartoon Kid, aka Felix, insisted that I read his poem titled "F%ck You", which consisted of fifteen lines of only that phrase.  On the latter, there was no need for my laughter as the whole classroom began howling as I read the work with great gusto and variance of inflection.  You wouldn't believe how many ways that simple phrase can be interpreted!

No matter how many hat tricks I pulled out I never got these babies to come on board the love train.  By our final project, collage works that would be exhibited in a rather significant contemporary art gallery in Austin, I had grown weary of the group think imagery.  Apparently, it is very dangerous to have an individual voice when one is part of a gang.  At the end of that first evening of image collecting I decided to pull a Johnny Carson on them.   By wrapping my pashmina around my head, I transformed myself into "Carnac the Magnificent".  I tipped each of their manila envelopes of images to my temple and guessed the contents.  "Let's see.  Yes, I'm getting a very clear image of women dressed in revealing clothing, expensive cars, lots of bling-bling, and bottles of booze.  Am I right?," followed by dumping out the contents to reveal my accuracy.  If individual thought puts a gang member on red alert status, a teen who is thought of as a copycat is dead meat.

Considering the number of visitors each day, News From A Broad post are rather slim on the comment side.  Each month I receive a number of questions sent to the News From A Broad email address.  I've been answering these in a general way through the post, as well as being more specific in my private correspondence.  Here is a sampling of the questions I've been asked followed by my replies: 

A Broad From Canada ask, "Do you know anything about driving down with dogs?  We have four dogs and are not sure which hotels will allow that number.  Does it add cost to the hotel room?"

I paid a hefty fee for a special letter from my vet, written in English and in Spanish, to bring Mimi the Cat across international borders.  No one at the border crossings nor immigration stations ever asked to see this document.  As far as I'm concerned, I could have created a letter myself and had it in hand if necessary.  I don't know how many animals are allowed during your immigration.  What was once true for me, or any expat in Mexico, may no longer be true for you so check a qualified site on immigrating with animals before you drive them down.  I would consult with YES.   

I've always stayed in the No-Tell Motels when traveling through Mexico.  They are sometimes referred to as the "sex motels" because they rent by the hour.  Sounds like a sleazy choice but they are really convenient, easily recognizable and economical.  They generally are in plain site from any highway, walled off and often resembling famous places from around the world.  They average about $350 MXN for a full night.  The best part, in my opinion, is that they have secured garages attached to your room and don't care how many trained monkeys you bring into the room.  During peak travel season there will be plenty of US and Canadian plated vans, packed to the roof and loaded with 4-6 family members making their way through Mexico to visit relatives.  I've never felt unsafe during one of my stays in a No-Tell Motel.

A Broad From Texas writes, "We are driving down in November.  What route did you take when you drove down?  I've heard that it is dangerous to make the interior trek and that it will add days to our trip."

I considered taking the coastal route as I had never done that in my many years of driving through Mexico.  However, with all the incidents along the border and on the coastline, I decided that driving a familiar route was safest, and in this way I would immediately recognize if something was amiss.  However, if you have never driven down, driving through Texas might feel scarier than driving through Mexico.  I certainly have never seen a bunch of deer parts hanging from an open tree in Mexico, nor a huge collection of crosses embedded in the lawn of a Mexican courthouse. 

The route you take is totally up to you and I cannot guarantee safety.  With that said, I prefer the interior route.  I avoid topes, i.e., speed bumps, the possibility of fiesta traffic, and small town police officers looking for bribes.  The highways in Mexico are comparable to those North of the Boarder (NOB).  It's easy to spot Pemex gas stations for fill-ups and restroom stops.  Many are attached to restaurants, OXXO and occasionally, a pharmacy.   The other reason I prefer the interior route is because topes slow down the trip and are hard on my vehicle.  With the Autopista Arco de Norte opening a few years back, there is a complete bypass of Mexico City and a direct lead into Puebla.  It is an incredibly beautiful drive, often crossing canyons and spectacular views of napole fields.

Create the life you want.
The Broad

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How To See The City Lights :: What To Pack

:: The experience has left me with an accent somewhere between 'speech impediment' and 'the blond chick from Fringe after a few drinks' and also with this piece of wisdom for anyone planning on ditching the U.S.: You might be better off spending your airline ticket money on whiskey, because chances are your plans for a new life abroad are not going to work out.::
- C. Coville

A few nights this week I was out and about for biz.  Wow, is Merida incredibly vibrant in the evening or what!  With signs aglow I found a whole slue of restaurants and quint cafes I can't wait to try.  This is definitely a city for walkers.  You just can't make the same kinds of discoveries tucked behind a steering wheel.  For whatever reason, these little jogs beyond my neighborhood got me to thinking about all the teeny tiny small small things that make my life easier here.  After all, this isn't a vacation anymore.  I'm no longer  camping out at the casita in my little fishing village.  I FREAKING LIVE HERE!  How fantastic is that?

When I was packing up the Scion for my move down I already had a fairly good idea of what I would need to make the casita feel more like living life than an all inclusive place to recover from a night of tequila shots. Contrary to popular belief, with most misconceptions coming from within the newly landed in our expat community, we can purchase table lamps, patio furniture and reading glasses.  Merida has box stores - Home Depot, Costco, T G I Friday's, Carl's Jr., Pizza Hut, and a handful of other big names you would recognize from North of the Border. Wal Mart, McDonald's and Domino Pizza have all been in Mexico from the beginning of time.  Sears and Coca Cola are big business all over the country.   

Some locals that have lived NOB will tell you that living in Mexico is like living in a Third World country.  I've been to Third World countries.  We in Mexico live way better!  However, it can be a little reminiscent of your camping days if you aren't aware of your choices.  Instead of sleeping on a high tech lightweight self inflatable down pad, you could find yourself sleeping on a hard as rocks bed supported by cinder blocks. 

When you make that final push to leave the US or Canada, consider the items you bring with you based on these three questions:  

Do I have the resources to replace it?  

Some things cost significantly more in Mexico.  Electronics are the big hit.  I'm not talking about hot water heaters, stoves, washing machines, and refrigerators as those are comparable in price.  The hard water and humidity will probably result in buying several water heaters and washing machines.   Back in Austin, I would have the water lines blown out and you can have the same done here with just a bit more mess.  Computers, televisions, microwaves, and stereo systems will hit your wallet.  Not only will your computers' keyboard be for Spanish speakers, every user manual is in Spanish.  I found an English version of the users manual for my washing machine.  A Betty Crocker cake mix had a temperature conversion table for centigrade to Fahrenheit!

What I brought:

• Flat screen television
• Net book 
• Kindle
• DVD player
• Printer/scanner
• Cordless phone and Magic Jack
• Delphi/SkyFi satellite radio
• Microwave
• Paper shredder (I use this for composting)
• Bread machine
• iPod Nano 
• Under the counter CD player
• Coffee bean grinder
• Automatic timers for lamps
• Battery charger and rechargeable batteries
• External hard drive

Am I emotionally attached to it?
Preparing to for this journey has little relationship to packing for a move across town or even across state.  Most of the expats I know ended up ditching twenty plus years of accumulation.   Disposing of the leavings of my children was the easiest part as they took their childhood things while I created photo albums for each of us.  Don't wait until the last minute.  There will be items that are emotionally charged and you will need time to process what you are doing.  Really, you don't know what you are doing because most of us have never taken such a huge step.  This activity gives you a chance to practice what the first year of your encore life will feel like.  You will be euphoric, deeply grieved, exhausted, frustrated, undervalued, and back to rapturous.  Have a garage sale and you begin to realize your things and your money were undervalued!  You will need help so ask early on in the process.  Seduce your friends with wine, hand rolled Cuban cigars, and a gourmet meal.  Whatever it takes, get them over to your house!  They really don't understand that you are leaving forever and watching your things be hauled off to the thrift store or community dump turns your adventure into one of the best reality television shows on the planet!

What I brought:

• PaPere's sewing machine
• Christmas ornaments made by my children
• MaMere's strawberry pot
• My great grandmother's desk chair

Will I have the time and desire to replace it?
Although I hadn't bought my Merida house prior to moving here, I knew it would be considerably smaller than my Austin home.  I also knew I would be shipping a contain of household items.  That is a personal choice that won't do you much good when it comes time to decide what to pack in your vehicle.

Other odd things you will hear is that all the women wear clothing so tight you see their jelly rolls, and that Mexican men don't wear shorts.  The poor and emotionally starved, regardless of what country they live in,  survive on fat rich diets.  This is a beach and tourist community for people living in Mexico, so yes, you will see men in shorts.  However, you are unlikely to find linens and clothing made from 100% natural fibers.  When you do, they will cost twice as much as they did in your home country.

What I bought and brought: 

• A Thule car rack system
• Tote-like Space Bags
• High count cotton sheets, towels, a quilted mattress pad and a down filled comforter 
• Clothing (or at least I thought so!) 

Some folks come with basically nothing.  Others bring every blessed thing they own.  Everyone will tell you they were right because they are!  This is a a process based on who you have always been.  Take in what others are suggesting and question all advise.  Ask twice as many people as you think you need to about how to proceed.  If you forget something, or miss a particular item, you will be traveling back to your own country.  You have the rest of your life to explore the Yucatan and Mexico.  You will find everything you need right here.

Good Luck Lovely Broads Abroad!

The Broad

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At The End of The Day :: Boyfriend For Life

:: I thought a great place to meet girls would be night school, you know, where they teach English as a second language. You know, because these girls would be from foreign lands and, you know, maybe still a little disoriented from the journey and I would look attractive because I speak English very goodly. But in the end it did not work out as I had hoped, I mean, basically I was told to take a hike in fourteen languages.:: 

- Vinnie in Must Love Dogs

 A few days ago, one of my dearest friends lost her husband.  Over the last year and a half, she and her sweetheart spent as much time in the ER and ICU as they did at home.  At the juncture of each emergency, she posted an update and asked for our prayers.  We offered white light, love, comfort, care, and finally, our fondest memories of her baby.   We supported her struggle to remain grounded during these episodes, cheered her combative demands for information from his attending physicians, and laughed out loud while reading her lovely writings on the miracle of their 20 years together.

Another girlfriend married for just as long, was and remains, faced with managing the repercussions of her husbands' affair.  Trust took many variant shapes in the years following this breech.  That they have remained together is in part a testament to the strength of their friendship.  Each partner has taken drastic steps towards recommiting.   Together, they approach each day as an invitation to explore the other.  Not an easy road, but the one they have found works best for them.  

As different and difficult as the two struggles are for my lovely friends, I find myself feeling a bit envious.  I am one of thousands of wonderful, talented and beautiful single Broads Abroad, with no one to greet at the end of the day.  The average Broad Abroad, regardless of country of origin,  is single, 47 y.o. and wears a size 12 dress!  Holy Smack!  I am a statistic!

Without the preoccupations of family life, our statistical situations may be a gold mine for employers and the travel industry.  This lack of family accounts for our 24-7 availability to focus on work, but really, I would rather be a gold digger than a goldmine!  Who wants to travel alone, dine alone, and sleep alone?  "Not I," said the Big Bad Broad Abroad!  

There is no Boyfriend For Life to smoother with kisses, to read the Sunday paper with, and linger under unwashed sheets.  There is a Wii on the coffee table, but no We when chopping vegetables, dancing like Gene Kelly, or misbehaving like a globe trotting American.  I face, as all the other single bad ass Broads Abroad, the hard times alone, in sickness and in health. 

Today, and maybe even tomorrow, I am sad for my girlfriends, and I am sad for myself.  There is something fundamentally wrong about coming home at the end of the day with no one to ask how the day went.  Perhaps I expect too many of the gaps that take a lifetime to fill to already be flushed out.  As a single working woman living in Mexico, with few friends nearby, I sometimes feel my life is comparable to that of a traveling salesman.  Instead of drifting from hotel room to hotel room, I find myself drifting between the rooms of my modest home.  What am I hoping to find?  Certainly not a hoard of cats! 

My friends' hearts broke wide open 20 years ago.  They allowed love to walk in and they never let go.  I've been married.  It wasn't easy.  I suspect that as we age, we are indeed less flexible in all ways, and yet, I desire companionship.  I don't want the living things I miss the most to be my dead animals, my parents, or my friends.  I want the person I miss the most to be my best friend, and the dirty toilets, wrinkled sheets, and stepped upon feet we create together. 

Wine 'em & Dine 'em,
The Broad

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squeak-a-SQUEAK-a-squeak :: The Truth About Mexico

:: Women prefer to marry up in IQ, but men will marry regardless of IQ.  Men have many women to choose from.  The smarter the woman, the smaller the pool.  Smart women do not maintain sexual interest and arousal long term unless the man can intellectually dominate her. This makes relationships with such women exhausting and contentious. ::
- Practical Economist 

I don't think this statement holds true in my hood  Seriously, there is more action happening in the hood than all the brothels in the world.  Between the teenage daughters across the street and their boyfriends preferring to profess their undying love underneath my kitchen window, and all the lovers making out in the parks, especially the park at the end of my triangular block, my hood is all about the lovin'!  

I've never heard such noisy lovers in my life, and I made my way from Austin to Merida spending the night in the No-Tell-Motels along the way.  That's where you would expect to hear orgasmic screams to rival a soprano who can't throw her voice.  No-Tell-Motels are rather great accommodations for those making the journey from the north lands by the way.  These establishments, walled for privacy,  have 24 hour security,  an attached private garage and look like the Taj Mahal inside and out!  Obviously, they don't care if you bring a cat (or dog) into the room.  They might even ask if you want them to send more animals to your room; have a whole freaking nativity scene happening if you want.  Ya'll could role play!  That's what your thinking!  Am I right!?

Hey, did you ever play an improvisational game called "The Machine"?  One player starts by creating a spontaneous action and sound; and keeps repeating both. In a few seconds a new player comes in and creates new action and sound which fits in with the first player's movements, and so on, until you have a fluid congress of sound and movement, thus a human machine.  A few nights back in the hood, from out of nowhere, a newly born sound joins the cacophony.  I've never wanted to be the director of the human machine game more badly than at that moment.  I would have all the players jump, spin, and collapse by 10 p.m..

Here comes the sound, like clock work, the rhythmic squeak-a-SQUEAK-a-squeak convulses its' way through my window at the strike of midnight - for three nights in a row!  As the amorous squeak-a-SQUEAK-a-squeak  last less than three minutes, I can only surmise that the guy is a former Minute Man.  The lady must be bored witless.  At midnight I'm wide awake imagining scenarios where I'm casually mentioning the many possibilities that will lead my neighbor to address the squeaking bed issue.  I'm so awake I Google search 'how many things can cause a bed to squeak".  Like I'm really going to provide these helpful tips! 

Back at the ranch, the following morning I prepare for my day at the office.  Leaving my house around 9 a.m., I take my usual route which leads me past the ADO bus terminal.  While I'm sitting at the light, I hear it, the squeak-a-SQUEAK-a-squeak!   I'm stunned!  Do all the beds in Mexico make the same sound, but more importantly, is my bed ever going to make that sound again?  Okay, that's a bed time story for another night, but isn't it odd that this sound should be heard blocks from its' usual location?

There is no way, with the bustle of buses, cambis, street vendors and honking horns that I am hearing love sounds.  I look around, roll down my window in an attempt to isolate the sound, and I do indeed find its' location.  Great Gawd Almighty, it's a BICYCLE!  A scrawny old dude is peddling this bluish-orange-I've-seen-better-days-surreptitiously designed squeak-a-SQUEAK-a-squeak bike across the street.  

What will the imagination conjure next?

Create the Life You Want!
The Broad

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International Women's Day : 101 Years Today!

International Women's Day turns 101 years old!  

Happy Birthday to all the women who have created, researched, contributed, fought, loved, and shared their lives and talents to make all of our lives better!  Broads LOVE the men who support our works and talents! 

Broad Made Signature Quilt, 2012

Photo Credit : All images are copyrighted by the artists.  First Row : Benné Rockett, Jacqueline May, Chelsea Léger, Joan Paci   Second Row : Joe O'Connell, Tracey Alsop  Center : Timothy Ryan  Third Row : Tracey Alsop, Diane Waddell  Fourth Row :  Joan Paci, Jessi T. Walsh, Skip Hunt, Jessi T. Walsh

Rooted in the American Women's Suffrage Movement, International Women's Day is now celebrated worldwide.  Don't forget, March is Women's History Month so the fun doesn't stop today.

• The United Nations is hosting events throughout the month that focus on women and men uniting to end violence against women and girls.  
• Canada's theme is focused on the status of women in the Federal Government.  The Art Department faculty at UBC, Canada, exhibits works based on the theme of Decolonizing and Deconstructing International Women's Day, followed by panel discussions to address research on women’s rights, lives and experiences as a way to then talk about the problems and advantages International Women’s Day has in its current construction. 
• Australia's UNIFEM is focused on two areas - ending violence against women, and supporting women's economic stability.  
• UK calls for women to focus on achieving a 50:50 split in the boardrooms by 2020.
•  IBM, USA is sponsoring events that look at success in global integrated enterprises.  IBM is really pushing the agenda in India with a women's leadership conference.  
• PEN International events are focused on the disappeared and murdered women writers of Mexico.   
• Germany will honor the memory of the Eritrean women, who fought equally with their male counterparts to liberate their country from the colonial forces of the Ethiopian government.  
• In Russia, IWD is more like a combination of Mother's and Valentine's Day.  It seems they may have forgotten the good fight their grandmothers' fought for equal rights in the 1940s.  
• Women of the Netherlands will be inspired by a  musical marathon of compositions by women performed by women soloists in the Amsterdam Concertgebouw.   
• French women can attend Soirée de la Femme by Ladies & The City.   
• Women of  Venesuela are invited to Caracas for a series of events being hosted by El Camino de las Mariposas. 

From all over the world, in every discipline, women have changed the way we experience the world.   

• Hôjô Masako (1156-1225), one of the most formidable political figures to take a place on the stage of Japan's warrior government.
• Anna Bijns, born in 1493 in Antwerp, Belgium, was the first Dutch independent writer, and considered to be the best selling Dutch author of the 16th century. 
• Caroline Herschel, born in Germany 1750, discovered eight comets.
• Deprived of basic education, Italian born, Marie Gaetana Agnesi, (1718), wrote works on differential and integral calculus.  She was one of the most gifted mathematicians of her time.
• Despite gender bias, US sculptor  Harriet Hosmer, born in 1830, became one of the most famous sculptors of the 19th century.  
• The Venerable Concepción Cabrera de Armida (born on December 8, 1862 in San Luis Potosí, Mexico and died on March 3, 1937 in Mexico City) was a Mexican Roman Catholic mystic and writer her religious writings and meditations total over 60,000 handwritten pages. The length of her religious writings thus approaches that of Saint Thomas Aquinas.
• Lili Boulanger (1893–1918), the first French female composer to win the Prix de Rome, with her cantata Faust and Helena
• Born in 1900, Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit, in 1953 became the first woman (and first Indian) president of the United Nations Genral Assembly,.
• Alla Nikolayevna Bayanova is a symbolic Russian singer, most famous for her mellow voice and simple yet dramatic style of performance. Bayanova was born in Bessarabia on 18 May 1914.

Thank You

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