Sunday Morning Edition 2, No.12 (2013) : Get A Job

 The Real Lives of the Expats Living in Your Travel Guide

[SOURCE: After Plum Cake]

Tom considered that living in Mexico might mean he would need a job. 

What could he do?

What would he be willing to do?

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Expatriates : Friendships

Now, you just shush while I powder your nose just a little bit.

:: Think of covert bullying as behavior that makes someone feel like they are not welcome in a social situation and manipulating behavior as a way for the aggressor to get what they want.::

Heather, The Helpful Counselor 

Some weeks ago on the NFAB Facebook page, I posted a photograph that prompted one of the users to ask, "Did you know all your friends before moving to Mexico?"  Like a bag of powdered doughnuts, Mexico keeps offering me the precious and the plentiful.  I am feeling especially grateful for the kindness of strangers - the lovely women and men who share their lives with me in Mexico.  In fact, I think you will sense that I am pretty much love gushing over them.  Coupled with my attachments in Austin, my tribe is my rebozo.  We carry and cradle one another into a lovely woven wrap, offering the finest in artisan love.  

If contrast had not appeared on the scene, I would not know the extent of my tribe’s scarcity, nor how much I benefit from their loving ways.    Through my work in the States in schools, I was exposed to relational aggression on a daily basis.  There is a continuum, and though I had witnessed two young women beating the crap out of one another, what I generally observed were the more subtle forms of bullying that are meant to isolate a peer from the social circle.  Bullies are, as a rule, not subtle and yet because we are so acclimated to lower levels of violence; it takes a trained observer to pick-up on these cues.  The individual being pushed from the nest will have the most difficulty convincing others' of what they are experiencing.  The bully's friends, and they do have friends, with their utterly different experience, don't see it at all. 

There is a bevy of literature on relational aggression so I won't recap what you can research for yourselves.  What I do want to capture is my gratitude for having a very deep bond with those that share their lives with me.  Their common and variegated threads create the coziest of places to simply be alive.  Here is a short list of their resiliency skills, using the convenient outline offered in The Four Agreements:

• They Trust Themselves

The magic that underlies this skill is that no one is a threat.   When a transgression takes place, they don't freak out, perseverate nor attempt to tackle the knotted.  They are so solid in their own integrity that they do not need to defend nor reject.  Their rebozo, like the Dao, is the mesh that enfolds, allowing nothing to slip through, in or out, the most opened sections of the weave.  No one, tribe or otherwise, is ever forsaken.   Mistakes in perception, behavior and choices are allowable because there are no mistakes, only opportunities to grow.

•  They Ask Questions

They break the mirrors of themselves.  Some of the richest lessons are offered by those who have led different lives.  There is no assumption that their own understanding is the ruler to measure others lives.  Each new person or relationship that is revisited, offers them an opportunity to give and receive. The physical nearness of the other matters not.  The expectation of a long term alliance matters not.  What most concerns them is that each moment of an interaction is fully alive.  In those moments, they correct assumptions being made about them, by themselves or the other.

•   They Are Impeccable With Their Word

They use the word to elevate themselves and others.  The words that flow from their lips are confined to their love of their own lives and the celebration of the smallest achievements of those around them.  They are seekers of the deeper parts of themselves, still growing and always leaning towards loving in each moment.  They embrace relationship.  They are comfortable that their own standard of conduct is applicable to themselves alone.  They have no need to influence the alliances of others. 

• They Do Their Best

Every moment there is an opportunity to do it right.  The tribe is filled with fierce beauty, unafraid of their own shadows or the ones that lurk in doorways.   

Even when we have been separated for a thousand years, I knew my friends in Mexico, because my friends in Texas trained me well!

Create the life you want!

The Broad

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Sunday Morning Edition 2, No.5 (2013) : Merida on Motos

The Real Lives of the Expats Living in Your Travel Guide

[Source : Gagful]

Tom now realized why there were so few delivery trucks in the Yucatan. 

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Sunday Morning Edition 2, No.3 (2013) : The Outside Reflects The Inside, Again

 The Real Lives of the Expats Living in Your Travel Guide

[Source :: Jazz In Strange Places]

Tom and Martha hadn't had the chance yet to meet the neighbor on the beach that was building this beach house, but they were sure he had some interesting stories to tell.

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Sunday Morning Edition, 1, No.8 (2012) : Quandry

The Real Lives of the Expats Living in Your Travel Guide

[Source : DK Travel]

Martha: "Tom, I'm worried that without snow  we won't be able to find the Christmas spirit here?"

Tom: "I don't think you need to worry, Sweet Tea. I'm pretty sure the Christmas spirit will find us instead."

Las Posadas December 16 -December 24
Las Posadas is celebrated starting in the middle of December. The torchlight procession reenacts Joseph and Mary searching for a place to spend the night before Christ was born, by parading their images from the churches around in the streets, accompanied by singers and musicians and lots of firecrackers.

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The Starving Artist :: How To Make Gumbo

:: A gumbo must always contain rice, and it must always be thickened with something.  Most gumbos are, in fact, double-thickened - first with a dark, oil-based roux (although Gumbo Z’Herbes is sometimes roux-less, as are some 19^th century recipes), and then using either okra or filé powder, but neither both, but never both (to connoisseurs, this as uncouth a practice as blending a Bordeaux with a Riesling). ::

- Stanley Dry, The Southern Gumbo Trail

A few weeks ago I shared my recipe for Shrimp Remoulade.  Today, I'm about to do something I've never done before - share my gumbo recipe!  I haven't even shared this with my children, and they started eating gumbo before they were out of diapers.  My sister and I can't recall a time without gumbo.  Mom liked to prepare chicken and sausage gumbo, while MaMere preferred seafood gumbo.  

The thing to keep in mind is that there are as many styles of gumbo as there are cooks in in the kitchen.  Whenever I went to a new Louisiana style restaurant in Austin, the first thing I would order is their gumbo.  If it was good, everything else of the menu was bound to be just as delicious.  From the Lake Charles, Louisiana style duck and andouille sausage at  Evageline Cafe in Austin, to the almost black roux prepared for chicken and okra gumbo at Nubian Queen Lola's Cajun Soul Food on the East side of Austin, gumbo always offers opportunity to be original.

Over the years I've added Gumbo Z'Herbes, a green gumbo just perfect for my vegetarian friends, a turkey gumbo after Thanksgiving takes care of leftovers, and a duck gumbo during hunting season.  I'll share with you my Gumbo Z'Hebes recipe and MaMere's King Cake, straight from France, just before Mardi Gras 2015.

I swear I should open a restaurant and art gallery!

BENNÉ’S CHICKEN & SAUSAGE GUMBO

Servings : 16 

Chicken & Sausage Preparation

• 2 pounds of the Italian sausage.  My preference is andouille but that was hard to find in Austin and impossible to locate in Mérida.
• 2 pounds of skinless chicken breast.
• Chop all the meat into 1" pieces.

Just know that you can't go wrong.  Unless you burn the roux, your gumbo is going to be identifiable as gumbo!  Every restaurant in New Orleans that serves gumbo, and that would be just about all of them, has a signature taste.  The underlying flavor, the roux, is what sets gumbo apart from soups and stews.  As impossible as it may sound, when one of my gal pals muled my pots down to me, someone with the airlines managed to crack my cast iron skillet in half.  Needless to say, this was the first time in my life I've prepared this portion of the dish in a stainless steel frying pan.  The meat browned just fine.  Once you have yours browned, put it into a deep slow cooker on low.  Add half of all the vegetables, one bay leaf, and one cup of chicken broth.  Add one cup of water to your fry pan.  Heat the pan up, loosen any bits of the meat left behind.  Add this to your slow cooker.  Allow all these ingredients to simmer in the slow cooker for 8 hours. 

Roux Preparation

• 2 cups of sifted flour
• 2 cups of cooking oil *Stay healthy, Ya'll!
• Black Pepper
• 1 smashed garlic toe
• 1 Tsp. of finely chopped onion
• Flour sifter

The roux took a bit longer in the stainless steel frying pan.  Surprisingly, the flavor was excellent, but I still prefer a cast iron skillet.  Pour the oil into the pan and place on low heat.  This was a bit tricky on my new stove as it has a very limited heat range control where low heat for simmer doesn't seem to exist.  As the oil is heating, sift the flour into the oil, taking time to mix the flour into the oil.  The trick with roux is to keep the oil and flour moving.  

The first photograph on the left is the oil and flour mixed.  Things that can go wrong are represented in the upper image on the left. Just lower the heat, or in my case, turn off the burner for a bit.  You don't want to burn the roux.  The third photograph shows you the color changes as the roux is progresses.  Just before I get to the dark chocolate phase I add black pepper, minced garlic, and chopped onions.

Vegetable Preparations

• 2 large white onions, chopped
• 2 large green bell peppers, chopped
• 2 cups of fresh chopped okra 
• 2 cans of chopped tomatoes
• 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 Tbls of dried oregano
• 1/2 cup of fresh parsley

Liquids

• 2 cups of chicken broth
• 4 cups of water 
• a splash of vinegar ffom a jar of pepperoncini peppers. 

Now, let's mix it all together!  Grab you large stock pot and put in the remaining vegetables, herbs and liquid ingredients, except for the vinegar, turning your fire to simmer.  At first heat, add the roux and the chicken and sausage mixture.  Once it comes to a slow boil, add the vinegar to taste.  Serve over rice, sprinkled with chopped parsley.  Anyone have a great recipe for French Bread?

New Orleans welcome to  Mérida, your sister city in the Yucatan.  
Bon Appetite

Create the life you want!

The Broad

*Here's how to contribute to  Global Food Fight Friday on the News From A Broad FB page.

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In Slow Motion :: Love Is Coming

 ::  You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance. :: 

- Lavetta Sue Wegman

Two days ago as I was heading home from a dental appointment, I witnessed the slow  progression of an accident.  It wasn't that type of slow motion that takes over the scene when you are in the accident yourself.  It was a literal slowness.  As an SUV crossed the median, it drove into a delivery moto.  Accidents are always a bit surreal but this one in particular was oddly captivating because the collision occurred when the SUV was inching forward.  I suspect that if I had been on the other side of the median I would have watched the moto dive into the SUV.  Moto drivers are risk takers in these parts.

A few days later, my colleague and I are headed to an appointment with one of our clients.  We take separate cars, with me following her to our destination.  Though there was only one car length between us, it was not easy staying with her.  A black BMW jumped between us, followed by a Land Rover.  When those two vehicles switched lanes and I had clear sight of her, a Toyota pick-up truck turns in front of her from the left hand lane to cross the avenue.  She slams on her breaks to avoid the collision.  Men in small wobbly trucks are risk takers.

In the last year before moving to Mexico I experienced daily anxiety attacks whenever I had to use Loop 1, a stretch of highway that runs from south to north Austin, on the west side of town.  Though there have been some hideous accidents on the highway, I now think that my fears were more about the uncertainty of moving to Mexico than actual fear that I was going to die in a car crash.  There were many obstacles that were preventing me from moving.  Much was out of my control.  Ironically, risk takers like control.

Last night in the dark of early evening, the world took on a different shape.  Kinesthetically, I recognized that Fall had arrived.  I tried to pinpoint what was different.  Was it the air, the visual cues, or the fact that it is December?  Other than the morning and evenings being cooler, there really is very little in terms of visible environmental changes to let one know that the season has changed in Merida.  In one year, my body knows something - what Fall feels like, here, in my new home.  Our cells are risk takers.

I reached a heavy traffic spot during rush hour and wait through two red lights before moving on.  Three men, easily identified by their robes as Hare Krishnas, are passing out pamphlets at the traffic light.  When one approaches me, I tell him not to bother because I can't read Spanish.  He touches his heart and says, "Corozon."  I touch my heart and respond, "My heart to your heart."  This interaction caused me to drift, recalling that a friend in my little fishing village picked up on the sadness of our community during her meditation.   We have recently lost a dear friend in that community and our grief was accessed by this woman who was unaware of our recent loss.  Our spirits are risk takers.

As is often the case, a train of thought takes a precarious pathway.  My drive home takes me past a home for sale that I adore.  All of its' features remind me of my other home, New Orleans.  A porch runs the width of the house.  The roof is nothing but beams as all the clay French tiles are missing, hopefully being carefully stored in some secret part of the gardens.  Each time I pass this house I think of my Darling, the Boyfriend for Life that is taking his sweet time finding me.  For a few moments I am filled with that same knowing that enveloped me with peace this past Summer.  I know that love is coming, like I know that the season has changed.  And as sharp as I take the corner that leads me to my little home in the heart of a city with 900,000 people, knowing the way without searching for signs, my entire body is suddenly overtaken with love.  I know that love is coming, but more importantly, more significantly, more poignantly, I know that I am love.  This woman is a risk taker.

Create the life you want!
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Grab Your Pots & Pans :: We're Cookin'!

:: But I was a pure romantic, and only operating with half my burners turned on.::
- Julia Childs, My Life In France








Broads Abroad, I really need your help!  Despite my recent re-acquaintance with my cookware, and finding my way back into the kitchen to prepare stuffed artichokes, and several servings of Shrimp Remoulade, I still feel like I'm starving all the time. 

When I first moved to the Yucatan I needed to shed a few pounds to lower my cholesterol level.  Unfortunately, I went a bit overboard and lost so much weight that my 70s pants suits collection can now hold two of me!  Losing this amount of weight wasn't intentional.  I initially found it  difficult to procure the products I like, or some close approximation that would make anything I cook taste like home.  Since my last post on cooking in Mérida, I have found the magic store that offers a nice selection of produce, including okra!  With gumbo season in the air, I diced the okra and placed it safely in the freezer. 

Honestly, I kind of miss my lazy wasteful life back in Austin.  I miss those days when I could place a pile of dirty sauce pans in the dishwasher and walk out the door to meet some friends for a glass of wine and tapas - Albert and Jamie, that was directed at you two!  

 Some things are just better shared, and that includes washing the dishes by hand.  Any takers?  My new challenge is learning to cook for two people - myself and my gorgeous saggy ass jeans.  A few weeks ago I made enough red beans and rice to feed the family across the street and my construction crew, which I did.   What I miss most, outside of the ease of Austin living, is cooking with other people, especially with Mary, one of my dearest friends.  When my home was rented out and on the market for sale, Mary shared her home with me for nine months.  We lived like sister wives without the creepy husband part.  To quench the desire to feed others, I'm planning a petite holiday cheer party to introduce my Canadian troupe to gumbo.  I'm also looking forward to baking holiday cookies with Manuel's family once his girls are out of school. 

Throughout my life, much to the chagrin of my children, I would just forget how to cook!  Well, actually what happened is I would come home too exhausted to go make groceries.  In those times I earned the nickname of Mother Ethiopia, as I would wave my magical spatula, pulling off incomprehensibly complex meals from the leavings of our bare cupboard.  I'm kind of in that place now, and thought, why don't we cook together!

What do you think about a virtual dinner party?  Each Friday, post one of your recipes on the News From A Broad Facebook page.   You can tell all of your friends that that you saved the life of The Broad, one recipe at a time!   Now imagine, one Friday morning while pouring your first  cup of coffee or a batch of tea, you too, like my friend Pam, can proclaim proudly, "I must say, I am a good cook!! A little Barefoot Contessa, Paula Dean, Emeril, and John Besh all rolled into one....me!!!"
 
Here's how: 

• Any day of the week, go to the News From A Broad Facebook Page.
• Include the phrase, "Global Dinner Party' in (fill in your country)" in your message, above your recipe instructions.
• Post directly to the News From A Broad timeline, full instructions and a photograph.
• I'll approve all of the recipes on Friday morning for public viewing.
• If you prepare one of the recipes, please give the Broad Abroad that posted it a very generous Thank You Note!  That will automatically qualify you as a Southern Drawl Dawlin.
• If there is a recipe you like posted by a Broad Abroad living in your encore country, and you have trouble finding the ingredients, just ask where to find it.  In my case, I would need to know what it is called in Spanish.
• If you have any problems, email me at newsfromabroad.online [at] gmail [dot] com.  The actual email address is on the home page on the right.   You can also leave a comment here and I'll see if my tech friends can fix the issue.

Create the life you want!

The Broad

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Seems Like Someone Wants Romance : Am I Right?

:: Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?  Love is everything it's cracked up to be.  That's why people are so cynical about it.  It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.  And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. ::

- Erica Jong

At the end of the month I run a check on the NFAB blog statistics.  I can see which countries are following, the number of spams, and the most read post.   By far, the most popular post, and I mean of all time, has been Boyfriend For Life : Let's Go!  Times A Wastin'.  Romance is a sexy topic!  I'm living in a beautiful city that fills my mind with new ideas daily.  Sometimes when I'm driving, I turn my head towards the passenger seat and almost speak out loud!  It's crazy what love thoughts will make us do.

If my son and I had been put in charge of creating the courtship process it would totally be allowed to profess your love immediately.  Fortunately for the world, we are not involved in the grand design of the heart.  There are some very good reasons, most of which deal with DNA imperatives and practicality, that we don't just walk up to total strangers and profess undying love.  Those same DNA codes that cause us to snap on our frontal lobes also compel us to move towards the shiny thing that ends with a dream were all the lights at a four-way stop are  green and none of the drivers knows which one makes the first move.

I never developed an appreciation for articles on relationships.  When you read the ones directed at women the advise is laced with what men want and how to contort yourself to fit his needs.  When you read articles directed at men, they are instructed on how to score the hottest babe.  When you analyse the archives of Top Ten Ways to Attract a Partner, women and men are guided as follows:

• Be gender friendly but don't behave like the opposite gender.  
• Women, dress like you are ready for sex but not to the point of being a slut?!?!
• Men, don't cry too often.  
• Women, don't know how to fix everything from your broken water faucet to your transmission.
• Don't go overboard with the public display of affection. 
• Don't over dance, don't be too accommodating, don't groom excessively, don't talk constantly,  don't, don't, and don't!  

Good Grief!  

Darlins', come on!  Get into the back seat of my car.  Boyfriend For Life is arriving on the 9:30 p.m. flight tonight.  We have big plans, but we're open to being carried off by a whim!  Maybe we will walk the city, taking pictures of everything that tickles us while he will be talking my ear off.  We could head towards Campeche or Valladolid for a few days and I will be hugging on him every chance I get.  Perhaps we will do an overnight at a hacienda or stay at home sipping a glass of wine in the garden both looking as handsome as our favorite movie stars. 

What have I been doing before his arrival?  Cleaning my house?  Obsessing over every interaction?  Going for a make-over?  No.  I've been living my life, my ordinary and precious life.  I've gone to the state fair, attended some fundraisers and shared a glass of wine with friends.  I've figured out where to buy groceries, hired someone to help me contract with a garbage pick-up service and headed to my lovely office for work.   I've planed my next party and bought tickets for a music festival.  

I think my son and I have half of the better idea.  Being real is much more appealing than someone playing a game, even if the game is directed by The Universe. 

Create the life you want!

The Broad 

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