- Bob, played by Bill Murray in Lost in Translation
Today is International Day of Peace. It doesn't matter how many horror stories have been shared with me by adults and children during my professional career as a therapist, I am still surprised by rude behavior. I'm more surprised when someone doesn't acknowledge their behavior as inconsiderate, abrasive, or just plain disrespectful. Disappointment rises when a red-herring is thrown into the ring. I'm out of there. I'm about love, being kind, geeking out, and just having an adventure.
This last year has been an eye opener for me. I don't know if it is a Facebook thing, or something that has always been a style for the new people around me, but there seems to be a lot of ugly post geared towards blatant agitation of others. In counseling, change generally occurs in a positive and supportive environment. No doubt about it, there are many distressing things going on in the world, and I can't say that I've always stayed clear of a FB fight, but I have reconsidered what I post. I'm not in Austin anymore, where all my FB friends pretty much approached life, including politics and religion, with a mindset similar enough to mine that we all closed our computers feeling happy and acknowledged.. I'm not in Austin anymore where all my FB friends are people I have coffee with, or talk about books, or go hear a band. I now live in a foreign country, with people from other parts of Texas, other states, and other countries that I may have done something with at some point over the last year.
Posting advertisements for products or services on other peoples' pages seems a bit much. One of the joys of living in Mexico is that I no longer have to filter through junk mail. What about the comments when a word has been spelled incorrectly? I'll be the first to admit that it drives me crazy to see alot, instead of a lot, but why publicly shame someone? Isn't it odd that someone can believe they know you when their connection to you is limited to a virtual sentence? I'm guessing, most of us have thought about this from time to time. I see post where people discuss being "defriended" by someone or they have blocked someone. I've "defriended" and I've blocked, and I've had both happen to me. Sometimes, it looks like adult bullying. I can't recall a time when it mattered to me so much that I wanted to have a public discussion about being "defriended". There have also been times when FB has done this for me. I'll go for weeks without a single comment, and finally will get a message or email from someone asking where I've been. I have seen comments made on a relationship status change that would make me feel horrible for anyone that I had loved if they were read.
Posting advertisements for products or services on other peoples' pages seems a bit much. One of the joys of living in Mexico is that I no longer have to filter through junk mail. What about the comments when a word has been spelled incorrectly? I'll be the first to admit that it drives me crazy to see alot, instead of a lot, but why publicly shame someone? Isn't it odd that someone can believe they know you when their connection to you is limited to a virtual sentence? I'm guessing, most of us have thought about this from time to time. I see post where people discuss being "defriended" by someone or they have blocked someone. I've "defriended" and I've blocked, and I've had both happen to me. Sometimes, it looks like adult bullying. I can't recall a time when it mattered to me so much that I wanted to have a public discussion about being "defriended". There have also been times when FB has done this for me. I'll go for weeks without a single comment, and finally will get a message or email from someone asking where I've been. I have seen comments made on a relationship status change that would make me feel horrible for anyone that I had loved if they were read.
I have aired out some dirty laundry a time or two with not the best intentions. I wholly regretted it, not because I felt ashamed about the crap that happens when you are an adult living on this planet, but because people who don't know me, now think they do.
All the vitriolic postings have me revisiting The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz. These sound easy enough, but just try to put them into practice!
- Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
- Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
- Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
- Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The Broad
2 comments:
This is why I love you Benne. Being kind is something I try to live by as well. In fact, I belong to a group of 500+ meditaters and the other day we were discussing the fact that if we all practiced 5 random acts of kindness for a year, that would be over a million acts of love energy going out into the universe. Something for everyone to consider.
Perhaps some of those petty tyrants who are pointing out spelling errors publicly and being so mean in other ways would benifit from such a practice. They would quickly find that the blessings they receive from this type of change would far out weigh the efforts.
Awesome! Be the force of goodness you truly are.
JM
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